Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
