so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
