There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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