Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
