wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
