if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize