is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
