What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
