Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
