she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
