No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
