Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Do vagina's smell?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
