dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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