His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
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Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
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I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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