so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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