garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
