i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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