All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
