I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
