Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
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Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
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I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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