And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
