i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
