That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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