Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
