then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
