I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
