Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
