no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
