never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize