how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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