People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i just google imaged poop.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
