I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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