I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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