How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
