i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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