Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
