There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
