Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
