I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
