Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
