i barfeds in our rink
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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