Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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