the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
