it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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