I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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