i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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