good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
