I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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