What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
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He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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