2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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