she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I am naked and annoyed.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
