We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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