My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
