I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
