if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
