like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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