Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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