Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
