She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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